Been Quiet..but with good reason ;)

So I've been busy. And by busy, I don't just mean no time for coffee dates with my girlfriends. By busy, I mean, I'm down in my studio at least 6 hours every...single...day! Oh, except Sunday...it's family day ;)

It may look like a mess to you...but it's piles of progress to me :D

It's always a good sign when the piles move enough for me to see a surface!

Starting to look like an end product. But this is only one third of them...*sigh

I've been praying that God would allow me to use my purse business to help support my family. And when God's will lines up with yours....POW!

about 1/8th of the orders I am filling right now!

I pray every night before I fall asleep, reflecting on all He has done for me. I have to pause, take a minute from the craziness of filling orders and realize that God has blessed me RICHLY with the ability to do what I love, and help pay for my two daughters tuition at their AWESOME christian school!

I know I wouldn't be able to keep this pace up if it weren't for the grace of God, so when it gets crazy, I look up and am reminded of how I got here in the first place, and how wonderful it is to be here.

My hardworking. lovely staff...my serger and sewing machine <3

Next post (when I can spare a minute!) I'll show you some finished products. It feels so good to utter those words...finished products!

Thanks for checking in!

Angie

New Pics, thanks to Addimae Photography

A dear friend of mine offered to take some pictures for me for my fall collections. How awesome is that??I'd be a fool to say no! I gave her a big ol' bag of bags, and she sent me a message last night. It was 10 pictures that she took, as she was "playing around". 

{swooning}This is why I don't take my own pics. 

My very best pictures don't even look as good as her"playing around" pics! Tomorrow, we have a date to meet at our local historical museum to get some more pictures, which I'll post when I get them.

 She has a great eye for rustic flair, which goes so well with my {modernly-vintage chic-ruffley-pleated- fabulous} style! 

After oohing and ahhing over my pictures, please stop by Addimae's site and check out her work. And I know she'd LOVE to know what you think. Tell her ANGIE sent you ;)

I can't say thank you enough!

Well I jumped off a virtual cliff of sorts on Tuesday, when I posted a very personal journal piece that I had written. What I didn't expect was the overwhelming support and GRATITUDE I received from people. I never knew that sharing my experience would open the door for so many people to share their own. It's funny how when we have all experienced some sort of pain in our lives, it remains one of those things that we work way too  hard to hide. But in reality, a lot of times, our pain can be a comfort to someone else. Someone who feels like they are alone in their experiences.

Through this blog post I heard from acquaintances, who watched me go through this 14 years ago,who wanted to ask how I felt, or how I coped, but they were afraid to ask. It was an incredible experience to hear the genuine, straight from the heart condolences that some of my dear old friends wanted to say for all these years, but were afraid to hurt me even more. Maybe afraid that the mere mention of my pain would make it all the more difficult.

I not only got to enjoy reliving old memories, but got to experience an unexpected, outpouring of feelings. This week I received hugs that on a normal day would be slightly awkward. But I can't tell you how many genuine, totally unawkward hugs I received (and gave!) this week. From people I passed in church, people I see while dropping my kids off at school, as well as many virtual hugs, I feel like people heard my message, and appreciated it.

I was privileged to receive messages of memories people had of my mom, of how proud she would be of me, and even how proud they are of me! I got to read about other peoples heartaches and how they appreciated reading this and knowing that the pain does get more bearable.

One of my biggest fears with posting this page were how my close friends and family would react. From those closest to me, I got overwhelming gratitude. From others I heard nothing :(  But the most important feedback of all was straight from my Dad. After all, he was the one who experienced the greatest loss that day 14 years ago. My life may have changed, but his had to STOP and start over.  He called me while I was out shopping last Tuesday, a few hours after the post went live. He told me he read it. (I started to sweat a little at this point!) I don't even know if I asked what he thought. I was to afraid to know. I was afraid of all the things I said before. That it would be to hard to relive. That it might hurt him more to read it. That he would be mad that I put the side burn picture up for the whole world to see. But his answer. " I loved it. It was hard to get read at times, but I am very proud of you, Ang." {sigh of relief} Those were the only words I needed to hear. That my DAD was proud of me. Then my sister calls me later that evening, and was speechless. Excited and speechless, which said more to me than a million compliments. Then, I even caught Ryan reading it. He didn't say to much, but the hubs doesn't like to read, so I knew what this meant :) And as the commetns, emails and phone calls rolled in I realized that the emotional roller coaster of writing and posting this were so worth it.

The newest addition to my living room. A gift from my Dad :)
He must have known how much I needed to hear it! 

I apologize that I can't respond to every comment I received. I tried to at the beginning, but couldn't keep up! Between comments, facebook messages, emails and shares, the support I felt is something that I can't thank you all enough for. So please know, that even if I couldn't write back to you personally, I read each and every word you wrote, and even read most of them twice :) Your words were kind, funny, emotional and real. Your words were a gift, and I thank each and every one of you.

Sincerely,
Angie

I'm taking a deep breath as I hit PUBLISH---->

Eeeeek! I wrote this post about a month ago, when I was experiencing some very painful issues with relationships. I haven't had the nerve to post it, because it is so deeply personal and I've been afraid to. But I showed it to a couple of close friends who have encouraged me to share this{biting nails, have a slight stomach ache!} I wiped the tears from my keyboard and worked up my nerve. I checked it and rechecked it about 85 times, but have changed nothing, so it is time.


This coming Monday also marks 14 years since I said goodbye to my Mom. (where IN THE WORLD did the time go!)   I decided that the timing for this is good for those who knew her and would appreciate seeing her face again. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Here we go...........
{feels kinda like I'm going climbing up the high diving board!}

___________________________________________________________
I very rarely ever bare my heart and soul in public. My close friends may know these things, but for whatever reason I find myself fighting to reveal how I really feel at times. But I have learned so much in this life from those who have trusted me enough to share with me their deepest and sometimes darkest times. Don't get me wrong my life is wonderful. I have an abundance of blessings. But I carry around a scar. A once deep, gaping flesh wound that has since healed, which has now left behind an ugly scar that still gives me unexpected twinges of pain.

Found on Pinterest

When I was 18 years old, I had just graduated high school. I was going to school to get licensed in electrology, so I could work in my Mom's hair salon. She and I were as close as a mother and daughter could be. Of course we had those tumultuous teen years, but I had since out grown that awful attitude and had grown into a wonderful best friend kind of relationship with my mom. I remember her taking me out of school, a sort of excused hooky, so I could attend a hair show with her. She wanted me to see what the business was like. She was just as excited as I was about our future working together. She saw my potential and enjoyed being with me.

Me (left) John Paul and Elouise DeJoria and Mom at the hair show.

 In high school, I would go home on my lunch breaks, and she would be there to hear about my day so far. I would call her countless times every day that she was at work. Her employees would be understandably annoyed, but she would never ever turn down a call from my sister or myself. She never held back her love for Sarah and I, and she gave of herself freely. I have happy memories of my childhood. I grew up taking for granted a stable loving home. Just recently I was looking through old pictures, and I saw a picture of a 7 year old me, smiling through over sized, crooked teeth, just being happy. When I looked at that face, I saw the love my parents had for me. A love strong enough to sacrifice their own wants and needs to put my sister and myself through a Christian education on a hairdresser and truck driver budget. That little girl had no idea at the time the depth of love that her parents had for her. And now I see it clear as day. The tables have turned and I am now the mother to two little girls. Now I look at my little girls with crooked over sized teeth, and the depth of the love I feel for those children isn't something I can put into words. Yet it hurts. That scar is sensitive, as I look in those beautiful little faces. Because it reminds me of what I've lost, it hurts because I want nothing more than to protect them from the kind of pain I've felt, yet I know that I can't.

THIS is why I had braces :)

In June of 1996, just weeks after my high school graduation, my Mom and I were painting and wallpapering in the room that was to be my electrolysis office in her salon. We were talking, listening to music, and working. It was fun! But later in the afternoon, she reached up to stretch and said "Angie, come feel this...what the heck is THIS?" I looked and could then see a huge lump on her shoulder. I didn't want to touch it, but I think I mumbled something about a pulled muscle or something. She didn't mention it anymore that night. As an adult now, I realize that she probably didn't sleep much that night. Thinking about what it could possibly be, I'm sure cancer crept into her mind more than once as we all laid in our beds, sound asleep. I'm sure she laid there thinking about what would happen to her girls if something happened to her. Then she probably told herself that she is getting ahead of herself, that it is probably nothing. And I'm sure this cycle continued all night long. The next day, after I got done with my job at the video store, I went over to my friend Laura's house to hang out. My Mom called me at Laura's and asked me to come home. I asked her why, and she wouldn't say. I repeated, 'but I just got here', so she blurted out, "Angie, I have leukemia, you need to come home." Those words and the shaky tone of her voice trying to remain calm yet firm are forever etched into my brain. I don't remember much else about that day, but I remember the roller coaster of emotions that overcame me as I came to terms with the diagnosis. Anger, disbelief, fear, more fear! Obviously I felt for her, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that she might not be there some day. That she wasn't going to live forever. At 18 years old the possibility hadn't yet crossed my self-centered mind.

She obviously didn't know her picture was being taken because she was smiling.
She hated getting her picture taken, so it is hard to find pictures that show who she really was...

My dad will KILL me for posting this pic, but Dad if you are reading this, the chops are AWESOME!!!
 Mom just looked too pretty here to not show it.

The next year and a half was a time of ups and downs. Diagnosis, remission, Re diagnosis, MISDIAGNOSIS, remission, recurrence, remission, recurrence, bone marrow transplant, no bone marrow transplant, hospitals far away from home, and finally, the realization that a cure was not meant to be. Anybody who has lived in a house with someone with cancer knows that it takes over every inch of your life. No I didn't have chemo, but I experienced it. I didn't have the painful spinal taps, but I felt them. I didn't have to stare my own mortality in its face, but I watched her struggle with it. The diagnosis meant nothing in our family would ever be the same again. That we were entering into a new normal. I saw for the first time in my life that my Mom and Dad were not invincible. I realized that they were human and the diagnosis of my parents being human beings was just as much of a shock to me: a child who lived such a previously happy life.

I walked in on a conversation between my Dad and my Grandma in our garage that I wasn't supposed to walk in on. They were wondering how they were going to tell the girls. The girls...that was US! I put 2 and 2 together and demanded that they just tell me. With pain in their faces as we stood in that garage, they told me that this was the last time that Mom was coming home. That the treatment she needs is in experimental stages and her cancer is too aggressive, so she likely won't be able to travel to Nova Scotia where the treatment is administered. I remember nothing else after that.

Our family, before Sarah and I knew how "normal" we were!
This is the picture Sarah and I refer to the
"Mom's wearing a bib, and Angie's bangs look like a Crescent roll"
picture!
You've gotta love the 80's!

My Mom was home for 10 days after that conversation. Friends and family came and went. We had a good time, some people cried. As the days dragged on, she became less and less responsive, and I slowly watched my beautiful, vibrant Mom fade away. I remember seeing her lips getting so dry as she slept and she was so thirsty but couldn't drink. So I ran to the pharmacy to get foam swabs to moisten her mouth. And I would sit there with a glass of water and swab it into her mouth to offer her my care, and what little relief I could. I simply wanted her to know how much I loved her, and to show her I knew how much she loved me. As I sat with her, I struggled to understand why it was coming to this. God had worked great miracles for other people, why couldn't he give one to us?

My Mom died peacefully in her bed as we all slept. Well sort of. For reasons I can't explain, my sister, my Dad, and myself all woke up and knew she was gone before anybody told us. I believe my Dad walked in the room to hear her last breath. So God does give us little miracles, even if they are not what we expect. He let her nudge us all in our sleep to tell us she was going home. Unexplainable in human terms, but totally normal in God terms. About 15 minutes after she was gone, the phone rang. It was about 3 am. It was my uncle, who was at some camp with his son. On the phone, he said, "Angie, what is going on?" with an undeniable sense of reluctance on his end. He too had been woken up, 3 hours away. God is amazing.

Mom ca. sometime in the 80's judging by the bangs :)

Then next morning, after the floods and floods of people finally left, we sat alone in our living room with our Grandma and Pastor. We were alone, facing the reality of what had happened for the very first time. So we went ahead robotically planning a funeral. "She'd like this, she'd want that". We basically put one foot in front of the other. As I heard the talking, but chose not to listen, I looked out the windows at what was a beautiful, mild, brightly sunny late September morning. And this is what God showed me. And I said it out loud. "She WAS healed. God DID work a miracle". I realized then that she was experiencing the joy that we as Christians wait anxiously for. She was face to face with Jesus. "Her cancer is dead. It can't hurt her anymore" The cancer that defeated her body couldn't take her soul. Because her soul was still ALIVE!

I never knew this picture existed until my uncle Joe handed it to me a year ago.
I have hardly ANY pics of Mom and me so I treasure it :)

And even after I made my relationship with Christ real, I began to have doubts. You see I had never talked with my Mom about her faith. How did I know if she was saved? It killed me for quite a while. Until God intervened and sent a good friend of my Mom to let me know out of the blue that she was in small group bible studies with my Mom and she KNEW in a way that only those who experience God can know that my Mom had made the same decision, to have a personal relationship with our gracious God, and that she was indeed with Him in heaven.

I live in the assurance every day that I will see my Mom again. And PRAISE GOD I live with the assurance that my husband will see her also. You see, he only got to meet her when she was sick. He was my companion on hospital visits or to her salon when she was working, but he never REALLY got to experience who my Mom really was. I now know he will get to know her, someday. I pray that my daughters will see their need for a Savior far earlier than I did, because I want nothing more than the assurance of knowing that they will be greeted by their Grandma in heaven.

It is another miracle that God continues to bless me and my family in incomprehensible ways every day. Yes the pain comes back with a vengeance at times. When I see a Mother who decides she no longer loves her child. I wonder where the justice is in that?   Or when I witness my best friend and the amazing relationship she has with her mother. It makes me ache a little for my own.  I get great joy out of seeing relationships between Mothers and their children. I'm sure most of them take it for granted, like I did, but I look at them and see yet another miracle. That God gave me the ability to see how wonderful the parents He put me with are and the fact that I was able to freely call my Dad and tell him this the other day. That is how awesome our God is!

The proof that God still loves me is in that He put before me.
My  husband and daughters....my own family!   :)

The best miracles so far...my girls!

Another feature...happy dance!

I love to hear what other people would do with my bags, so I was thrilled to read this article :) While I was checking out Bonnie's blog, I was slowed down by her beautiful photography. She was doing a 365 day project of photographs, and they are truly remarkable! I picked one below to share. It reminded me to slow down and enjoy these last few, precious days of summer...

Someone liked what I had to say :) I feel so smart.

Guess who was seen as being smart enough to be featured on an organizing blog???  Me! I can't wait to share this with the hubs. You see, he is the ultra organized, type A personality, so my lack of organization DRIVES HIM BONKERS! But I do try REALLY HARD to keep my work space serene and clutter free, so it makes me smile to be known in blog land as being in the elite "organized" group :)


Thanks in advance for checking out her post!

Gathered & Sown has a professional photo shoot {I feel so grown up}

Last night, after I dropped my kids off for VBS, I was privileged enough to have my good friend Krissy Vanderlaan offer to take pictures of my bags. She has a super fancy camera, some mad photog' skills and photo shop. I would be a fool to say no! But when the time came to go, I had no model. As I called Krissy on my cell, I drove by my friend Laura's house. Lo and behold, there she stood, cleaning out her car, like a frantic answer to prayer! And don't gag, but as you look at the pictures, please know this is EXACTLY how she looked when I drove by. No foolin. I wish I looked that good when I was cleaning my car! Krissy was able to convince me that I looked presentable enough to be in a few shots, even though I was only planning on standing BEHIND the lens. Had I known, I would have tried to look at least a little more "laura-like!"

This picture was taken in the cutest little old fashioned soda and ice cream shop in the South Pier district.
If you are ever in Sheboygan, check out South Pier Parlor, owned by the sweetest little thing,
Michelle and her hubby Ryan.
{ I love to support awesome people and their small businesses, wink,wink! }

This was taken on South Pier in Sheboygan.
We are SO BLESSED to live right on the beautiful Lake Michigan.

Krissy thought Spencer felt left out. (he was waiting in the car the WHOLE time!)
SO we decided to get him in a few shots.
{Notice his body language. He was about to SPRINT after another dog.}

Laura and those L-E-G-S!
If I had legs like those, I'd be going around showing them to people, saying
"Hey, have you seen my legs? They rock!" :D

We had so much fun. The weather and natural lighting were perfect and I love what Krissy did with the pictures.

{Thank you Laura and Krissy for your time, talent and friendships!}

That's what I love about my job. I get to do what I love, with the people I enjoy being with and on top of that, get to see something I CREATED bring someone joy. Life is good :)

Why I Treat Every Order Like It's A Gift

I have to admit that everytime I turn on my computer and see those glorious words "Etsy Transaction" I get very giddy inside. (And outside, I always yell to the hubs, or call my bff!) As a tiny business owner there is something so special about knowing that someone, someone who doesn't even know me, likes what I am doing. Likes it enough to invest their hard earned money in order to have it in their hands. And that speaks VOLUMES to me. I acknowledge every day how much God has blessed me both personally and in my business. I acknowledge every day this gift He's given me, to be able to provide for my family, doing what I LOVE, while still being home to be present with my girls. And I don't ever want to take that for granted.

So this is why I treat every order as if it's a gift. I want my buyer to get their package in their hands, with a sense that they are about to open something special. Even if someone comes to my studio to buy a bag, I always wrap it and box it with my signature style. Yes, they know what's in the box, but I just know that I'd be excited to peel back the layers when I got home, revealing the splurge that I've been waiting for.

When I mail out online orders, I always handwrite the envelope. You know that feeling when you go to the mailbox and see a handwritten card? I love that!

 

I got this picture sent to me on facebook from an awesome customer that said:
 "Hey everybody...look what I got in the mail today"!
I loved knowing her reaction, it was a gift in and of itself :)

I want my buyers to know that I took the time to personally wrap and deliver their new "gift". I also use the same tissue paper/sticker combo that I use on my "in person" pickups, to keep my packaging consistant. I feel like that little pop of color and personality gives the person a little preview of what they are about to unwrap! And with every mail order goes a handwritten thank you card. How can I let people know that I appreciate their business if I don't take the time to tell them? So I do :)

I really feel like the little details can go along way towards showing my gratitude. And I am more than grateful to wake up each new day and getting to see my little venture unfold. Who knows? Maybe I'll see a new "Etsy Transaction". Fingers crossed... :)